“The Cross will not crush you; if its weight makes you stagger, its power will also sustain you.” -St. Pio
Roll with the flow
Ride with a higher vibe
Seize every moment as an opportunity to
truly feel alive. – RiDE or DiE.
I find a spirit in the wind when I ride my motorcycle that is so overwhelming it brings tears to my eyes. That’s what I love most about riding. It’s where I connect with a divine love and universal energy that is so pure, so true, so loving that it’s hard to get off of my bike. These moments are treasures beyond measure. It’s like there is an umbilical cord from my heart to the stars.
I wrote RiDE or DiE because I felt like my soul was dying inside…
Feeling the crushing weight of the lies and deception everywhere in this world and especially while working in the motorcycle industry, which has turned into this crazy corporate, competitive, selfish and egotistical atmosphere, I withdrew. I emptied my heart and began to examine the incredible drain this darkness was having on my life.
What happen to the amazing days of the motorcycle culture when it really was about the love of the ride? The love of the motorcycle? The love of the rider soul? The love of pure adventure and wanderlust? I have met the most amazing people while riding my motorcycle. Gems! But that has become few and far between now. I mean, journeying to Sturgis, South Dakota is not so much for the rally party, as it is to bond with Bear Butte, the spiritual vortex, and the incredible loving road angels that I’ve met riding over the years. Celebrating spirit in the wind. spirit of the universe. spirit of mother earth. These days at rally I feel like I did as a geeky kid with thick glasses, totally uncool clothes and hair cut as people interact with me like I’m a third wheel. I don’t fit in.
Ever since Indian Larry, Samantha Morgan and Mark “Papa” Guardado and a few others passed away the entire atmosphere began to shift even more for me. Each of these deaths were unexpected and frightening. Like they were violently plucked off the earth.
I met Larry back in the late 90s while I was dating a dude from Queens. It was at an event off Steinway in Queens, I think it was. He was always so kind and interesting, an extreme artist on so many levels. Larry was his own person. His own artist. His wife Bambi, also quite extreme and unique and very fun.
Samantha I met through my windsister Goth Girl who told me “I met this awesome chick who rides the Wall of Death. She’s amazing. You gotta meet her.” That was ten years ago. Immediately we connected and I would hang out at Sam’s trailer at events. We would talk about our truth and passion for riding and that no one could take that away from us. She owned it. She owned that wall. She owned her art. She was true. When she passed away, a month after my father who was the light of my life died of Leukemia, I felt my world just crumble.
Papa. We shared a special friendship that had to do with everything art and motorcycles. He passed away that same year in August. Horrific incident and I just shut down for awhile after this news. I had met this ROCK of SOUL at my ol’ stomping grounds The downtown Broken Spoke Saloon (which is not there anymore) in Sturgis. Goth Girl introduced me to him. We became instant soul friends. Almost every year since we met, we’d share a dance at Sturgis usually on a Wednesday night I think it was. The time in between rallies we’d spend on the phone or he’d come to NYC to be with his family and we’d meet up and talk for hours. Our conversations mostly had to do with riding, art, music and the mystery of life…how things made better sense in the wind. He would also talk extensively about the love he had for his children.
They owned their lives that completely revolved around riding and they lived it. They were kind and accepted you as you are.
Sitting here stagnant
Tired of all those aching lies
Falling from the mouths of the so called “Rock Solids”
who’d rather rob you blind
Yeah, they steal your dreams
All the while chatty and smiling
“Shut up, You Ain’t Got My Back…do you know what it even means?” – lyrics to RiDE or DiE
There have been many times over the last year and half when I wanted to tell folks simply “Shut Up, You Ain’t Got My Back” especially while they were all pretend and chatty with me. Yeah, some were the so called icons in the industry who would almost stomp over you to gain status, glory and leadership. They certainly will use you that’s for sure and for someone as naive like me, forget it. Gullible girl right here.
Another RiDE or DiE element there have been females who work in the industry that purposefully did everything they possibly could over the years to keep me out of events, having a book signing, participating on panels, you name it. To them I guess I was this obscure chick from New York City. After awhile, I just quit trying to get into anything having to do with women and motorcycles. You see, once these dark creatures sabotaged my reputation as that of “not being a good representative of female riders” for reasons that ranged from: the way I dressed, to the way I wrote and my philosophies on riding, to the people I hung around…yep.
One girl went so far as to call the TV network to tell them that I really didn’t ride a motorcycle to which the producer responded, but I have several days worth of her riding her motorcycle all over the place! Or when I was considered entry level by some because I only rode a Sportster. Obviously, that certainly wouldn’t fly these days. How about the fact that’s the bike I could afford? And it’s still the bike I ride and she’s incredible, my soul machine. I’m supposed to experience some kind of bike shame because of these leader chicks?
Another told me that because Sonny Barger so kindly quoted a cool quote for the cover of my first book Bikerlady and because I was friends with some of the boys, that that was why a certain well known [figure it out] didn’t want to support my book. What?! Yeah, since Sons Of Anarchy became a hit show, well, I surmise that these things wouldn’t be an issue these days.
I shed alot of tears being left out of these events for women and motorcycles that meant so much to me. I love encouraging other women to ride, I love promoting all the wonderful and positive aspects of what riding a motorcycle does for your body, mind and soul. As far as my dress, oh, please. The troubling thing was that I was receiving so much fan mail from my books, my public appearances and the letters were amazing. People writing how my words helped them so much in life. How my positive outlook and riding metaphors gave them courage and inspiration. It pissed me off something fierce that no matter how many fan letters I shared with the powers in the industry, I was ignored.
So I moved on from the fun goals that I had to help create a strong motorvational presentation and entertainment for women in motorcycles all over the world. I abandoned the struggle and humiliation from trying so hard, up against a stronghold of women who would do anything to keep me out. So I refused to engage in that battle. There are other important causes to fight for. I refused to waste precious time and energy anymore on this stupid struggle to be a part of the whole women and motorcycling platform. I struggled a long time because I’m horribly naive so it takes me awhile to get it sometimes.
It sucks having dreams crushed by the “so called” Rock Solids who think they know everything and have all the answers whether they be heartless females, an inept government, crazy politicians, wickedly cruel mortgage industry, selfish corporate leaders, egomaniac greedy motorcycle pretend celebs, the people that pretend to be your friends so they can use you as a resource for their pursuits, the liars, the cheats…shall I go on?…NO you know what I’m talking about here. They will be all chatty and smiling with you while they freakin’ cut your heart out from a stab in the back. There are many disheartening things happening in the world so those few situations that elevate the soul and lift the heart mean everything. Riding a motorcycle totally elevates and lifts you.
Not the type to waste my time
with a look at me life online
so off I go escaping all I know to
grab facetime with the wind . . .
I can’t imagine my life being without a motorcycle. The love of a two wheeled freedom machine has had a grip on me since I was a child on a bicycle that was way too big for me. It was a used beach cruisier Schwinn, Poppi, my daddy, bought at a garage sale. For me it was my magical means for escaping life as I knew it.
It’s a long road to innocence (rebel) – a true rebel portrays an innocence protecting all that is good and true and love. Engaging in the wonder. Seeking knowledge. So, to renew and engage this innocence is a constant long road.
Hardships are apprenticeships
Miles bring on mystery (miles bring on and magnify the divine mysteries of life)
Truth is where I wanna be
I’m leaving the hell behind…
Riding my motorcycle sustains me because it’s where divine love is most present to me. It is my heaven. My heaven, along with my loving husband, Patrick, my beautiful pets, my music, and my true friends and family, and my true windsisters especially the Magnificent 6 and some others that I adore.
I love to compose music about my love for riding… my most favorite art expression. The swiriing sometimes chaotic guitars of this song represent the wind and the emotions that brew up when you face truth or clear out the cobwebs in your mind. The strong bass line represents my husband, my rock, my journey. The Bonham like drums simple yet powerful like how my motorcycle just chugs on and encourages me to do the same; and the wide open hi-hat sloshing represents how my bike and me rolls on through any kind of weather.
I ride for my life. Head out on the highway find me a higher way.
RiDE or DiE is a free download. It’s my healing song. It’s my soul restoration. It’s messy and I share it with you. Maybe you have experienced a RiDE or DiE situation in your life and this can be your power riding spirit song, too.